Monday, January 08, 2007

WET PANTS

WET PANTS

Come with me to a third grade classroom..... There is a nine-year-old kid sitting at his desk and all of a
sudden, there is a puddle between his feet and the front of his pants are wet. He thinks his heart is going to stop because he cannot possibly imagine how this has happened. It's never happened before, and he
knows that when the boys find out he will never hear the end of it. When the girls find out, they'll never
speak to him again as long as he lives.

The boy believes his heart is going to stop; he puts his head down and prays this prayer,

"Dear God, this is an emergency! I need help now! Five minutes from now I'm dead meat." He looks up from his prayer and here comes the teacher with a look in her eyes that says he has been discovered. As the teacher is walking toward him, a classmate named Susie is carrying a goldfish bowl that is filled with water. Susie trips in front of the teacher and inexplicably dumps the bowl of water in the boy's lap.
The boy pretends to be angry, but all the while is saying to himself, "Thank you, Lord! Thank you, Lord!"
Now all of a sudden, instead of being the object of ridicule, the boy is the object of sympathy. The teacher rushes him downstairs and gives him gym shorts to put on while his pants dry out. All the other children are on their hands and knees cleaning up around his desk. The sympathy is wonderful. But as life would have it, the ridicule that should have been his has been transferred to someone else - Susie. She tries to help, but they tell her to get out. You've done enough, you klutz!" Finally, at the end of the day, as they are waiting
for the bus, the boy walks over to Susie and whispers, you did that on purpose, didn't you?" Susie whispers
back, "I wet my pants once too." May God help us see the opportunities that are always around us to do good.

Remember.....Just going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car.

Each and everyone one of us are going through tough times right now, but God is getting ready to bless you in a way that only He can. Keep the faith.

This prayer is powerful, and prayer is one of the best gifts we receive. There is no cost but a lot of rewards. Let's continue to pray for one another.

The prayer:

Father, I ask You to bless my friends, relatives and those that I care deeply for, who are reading this right now. Show them a new revelation of Your love and power. Holy Spirit, I ask You to minister to their spirit at this very moment. Where there is pain, give them Your peace and mercy. Where there is self-doubt, release a renewed confidence through Your grace. Where there is need, I ask you to fulfill their needs. Bless their homes, families, finances, their goings and their comings. Amen.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

We'll see how this goes

It seems that Multiply can Cross-Publish my blog entries- from all 5 of my blogs! We'll see how well this works. If it does, this will be your "one-stop shopping" place for my commentary and writing on the web.



Friday, December 15, 2006

Bakker, Brown: What the hell happened to Christianity? - CNN.com

Bakker, Brown: What the hell happened to Christianity? - CNN.com

NEW YORK (CNN) -- What the hell happened? Where did we go wrong? How was Christianity co-opted by a political party? Why are Christians supporting laws that force others to live by their standards? The answers to these questions are integral to the survival of Christianity.

While the current state of Christianity might seem normal and business-as-usual to some, most see through the judgment and hypocrisy that has permeated the church for so long. People witness this and say to themselves, "Why would I want to be a part of that?" They are turned off by Christians and eventually, to Christianity altogether. We can't even count the number of times someone has given us a weird stare or completely brushed us off when they discover we work for a church

Friday, December 08, 2006

A life of it's own

Prayer has a life of its own. If we could define it today, that definition would have moved and changed by tomorrow. Prayer is a living relationship that can never be pinned down and analyzed; prayer is a breath of the soul that has passed before we can seize hold of it; prayer is a reaching out of all that is deepest within us towards all that lies infinitely beyond and around us.
- Margaret Silf

Thanks

"If
the only prayer
you say
in your life
is
Thank You,
That
would
suffice"
~Meister Eckhart

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Mallory's Milieu - CARTOONS

Mallory's Milieu - CARTOONS

I've wanted to be a cartoonist since about 5th grade. I drew cartoons for my High School and College newspapers and now for my local small-town newspaper. Here is a collection of some of my favorites.

When you go to this page, bookmark it to your favorites because I add to it almost every week. Tell your friends about it, forward the web address around if you enjoy them. Who knows, maybe you can create a buzz for me or a web-following so that eventually I could sell my work to bigger papers, magazines, or best yet, get syndicated. Don't get me wrong, I love teaching, but how cool would it be to get to actually make a living drawing funny pictures.

Anyway, take a look, either luagh or get angry, but either way, enjoy.

Mallory's Milieu - CARTOONS

Mallory's Milieu - CARTOONS

I've wanted to be a cartoonist since about 5th grade. I drew cartoons for my High School and College newspapers and now for my local small-town newspaper. Here is a collection of some of my favorites.

When you go to this page, bookmark it to your favorites because I add to it almost every week. Tell your friends about it, forward the web address around if you enjoy them. Who knows, maybe you can create a buzz for me or a web-following so that eventually I could sell my work to bigger papers, magazines, or best yet, get syndicated. Don't get me wrong, I love teaching, but how cool would it be to get to actually make a living drawing funny pictures.

Anyway, take a look, either luagh or get angry, but either way, enjoy.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

the Duck and The Devil

Here's one of those few email forwards that is actually worth passing on:

The  Duck & the Devil

There was a little  boy visiting his grandparents on their farm.   He  was given a slingshot to play with out in the woods.  He practiced in the  woods, but he could never hit the target.  Getting a little discouraged, he  headed back for dinner.  As he was  walking  back he saw Grandma's pet duck.

Just out of  impulse, he let the slingshot fly, hit the duck square in the head, and killed  it.  He was shocked and grieved.

In a panic, he hid the dead duck in the wood pile, only to see his sister  watching!  Sally had seen it all, but she said  nothing.

After lunch the next day Grandma  said, "Sally, let's wash the dishes."  But Sally said, "Grandma, Johnny  told me he wanted to help in  the  kitchen.Then she whispered to him, "Remember the duck?So  Johnny  did  the dishes.

Later that day, Grandpa asked if  the children wanted to go fishing and Grandma said, "I'm sorry but I need Sally  to help make supper."   Sally  just smiled and said," Well that's all right because Johnny told me he wanted to  help."  She whispered again, "Remember the duck?"  So  Sally  went  fishing and Johnny stayed to help.

After  several days of Johnny doing both his chores and Sally.. he finally couldn't  stand it any longer.

He came to Grandma and  confessed that he had killed the duck.  Grandma knelt down, gave him a hug,  and said, "Sweetheart, I know. You  see, I was standing at the window and I saw the whole thing, but because I  love you, I forgave you.  I was just wondering how long you would let Sally  make a slave of you."

Whatever is in your past,  whatever you have done... and the devil keeps throwing it up in your face  (lying, cheating, debt, fear, bad habits, hatred, anger, bitterness,  etc.)  ..whatever it is....You need to know  that  God was standing at the window and He saw the whole thing.....  He  has  seen  your whole life.  He wants you to know that He loves you and that  you  are  forgiven. He's just wondering how long you will let the devil make a  slave  of  you.  The great thing about God is that when you ask for forgiveness,  He  not  only forgives you, but He forgets.....  It is by God's grace and mercy  that we are saved. Always  remember: God  is at the window.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

An Attitude of Gratitude:

An Attitude of Gratitude:

Adapted from Rabbi Irwin Katsof's new bookHow To Get Your Prayers Answered

The saying goes: "There for the grace of God, go I." Indeed that is so true. God is looking out for you every second of the day. Yet, we just assume when things are going well, that this is how it should be.

But we can't take anything for granted, as just a cursory look around should tell us. Therefore, reminding ourselves that eyesight, mobility, consciousness and freedom come from God awakens our appreciation for His love and care, which are as infinite as God is Himself.

Before we start beseeching God with our requests, we should acknowledge all He has done for us already.

This is why the Sages advise that, before we start beseeching God with a long litany of our requests, we should acknowledge all that He has done for us already.

The Siddur, the Jewish prayer book, drawing on a tradition two-thousand years old, lists blessings to be said each morning over life's essentials:

Blessed are You Lord, our God, Ruler of the Universe ... Who gives sight to the blind ... Who releases the imprisoned ... Who straightens the bent ... Who guides the steps of man ... Who gives strength to the weary ... Who provided me with all my needs...

Beginning each day with such a reminder might go a long way toward not taking God for granted.


Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Malcontents and control freaks in your midsts

Not all clergy are myopic, but sometimes it sure seems that the established Church is about nothing but the "Church Establishment." Know what I mean? There always seem to ba malcontents and control freaks in our midsts who find it more important to sieze political control of the church heirachy or launch some witch-hunt for heretics rather than say, sharing the love and good news about God's  grace and forgiveness. I recently stumbled upon the following Scripture. I hope it encourages you to keep your eyes fixed on Jesus and not fear the squeaky wheels and the players and hypocrites.

"I urge you, brothers and sisters, to keep an eye on those who cause dissensions and offenses, in opposition to the teaching that you have learned; avoid them. For such people do not serve the Lord Christ, but their own appetities, and by smooth talk and flattery they deceive the hearts of the simple-minded."

- Romans 16:17-18


__________________________________
http://ted.mallory.googlepages.com/home.html

"The gospel is meant to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable." ~Garrison Keillor

Say Thanks

www.letssaythanks.com

If you go to the website above you can pick out a thank you card and Xerox will print it and    it will be sent to a soldier that is currently serving in Iraq.  

You can't pick out who gets it, but it will go to some member of the armed services.  

How AMAZING it would be if we could get everyone we know to send one!!!!  

his is a great site. Please send a card, it is FREE and it will ony take a few seconds.  

Wouldn't it be wonderful if the soldiers received a bunch of these?  

Whether you are for or against the war, our guys and gals over there need to know we are behind them.                  
__________________________________
http://ted.mallory.googlepages.com/home.html

"The gospel is meant to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable." ~Garrison Keillor

Fwd: Young soldier needs prayers

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: BART MALLORY
Date: Nov 13, 2006 5:44 PM
Subject: Young soldier needs prayers
To: Ted Mallory


 
Dear praying friends and family,
        Just read this and wanted to send it on to you for immediate prayers for Chad.  Let's just lift him and his parents up to the Lord and know he is surrounded by God's Holy saint's and angel's.
        Love you all,
        Jean
 
PRAYERS NEEDED FOR CHAD FIELD (From his mother)   My son has been shot in Falujah. I wanted to get everyone to pray for my son Chad. Today, Sunday, I got a call from the Army that my son had been shot in the head. I am asking for all your prayers.   He was in a Humvee going through Falujah fighting and a gang of militia fighters fired on the Humvee and hit Chad in the head. The driver got him out of the city and took him to Baghdad. He was in near fatal condition, but now has been upgraded to stable critical.   His dad and I are on standby to fly to Washington then on to Germany as soon as the military calls us to go. The Army is trying to stabilize him enough to fly to Germany and at that time we will leave.   Please pray that my son will not have brain damage and that he will be restored and healed by the blood of Jesus, and the grace of God.   I ask for you to pass this prayer request on so there will be many prayer  warriors praying for him. Thank you so much.
  God Bless,
  Vicky Field
  Granbury, Texas
  Please pray for this young soldier and please pass this request along to
 those who will pray for him,
 
__________________________________
http://ted.mallory.googlepages.com/home.html

"The gospel is meant to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable." ~Garrison Keillor