Lord, save us from Your followers

I know a lot of Christians who feel marginalized because since they hold some mainstream or some left of center political opinions. Their fellow believers criticize them and judge them, make them feel like they're not good enough Christians or not Christian enough because their views aren't enough aligned with the conservative evangelical monolith.

I'll admit that one reason I "piratized" my blog, http://malloryprayer.blogspot.com was because I was so frustrated with what I perceive as American Christian politics as not-so-Christ-like, driven by "tribalism," anger and legalism- but also because I was so desperate to be respected even though my personal opinions don't fit lock step with the extreme-right convention of my neighbors and fellow congregants here in the hinterlands.

But I also want to reach and reassure those disaffected progressives like me who can't seem to get past the fact that Jesus said to "turn the other cheek, go the extra mile, give 'em the shirt off your back and love your enemies and pray for those that persecute you..." but so many American Christians these days say "torture saves lives, take the fight to them before they bring it here, eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth, better dead than red, I didn't come from no monkey, baby killers go to Hell, and God hates fags."

I have a friend who's a psychiatrist and a college professor, whom I know loves the Lord and has love and compassion for his patients and students who is feeling labeled, lumped, judged, and alienated by absolutist, authoritarian, fundamentalist, Pharisees lately (oops, there I've labeled, lumped-together, judged and possibly alienated them back,! hypocritical me).

What I fear is that Christians drive our brothers and sisters in Christ away from Jesus and out of His kingdom by making them feel like they can't possible belong. Sometimes we shout so loud and our political passions burn so hot that we eclipse the Son. Counter productive. Straining out a gnat but swallowing a camel.

Forgive me Lord if/when I do hold wrong opinions. Forgive me fellow Christians if/when I offend you or become a stumbling block for your faith. But Holy Crap- Dear GOD, will you PLEASE not let the fear and hate and anger and impulse for control that so many Christians have drive away Your lambs. Don't let Your sheep root and budge and bite like pigs at the trough.

Here's an awesome song lyric from the Lutheran duo, Lost and Found that speaks to this issue"

"So many people pushed away Ones that are loved told they can't stay The
question is what would Jesus say?God's own people close the door The loud and
the angry take the floor We know what you fear But what are you for? Furthermore
. . .
THE KINGDOM'S BIG ENOUGH FOR YOU
YOU WERE MADE TO BE HERE TOO
THE KINGDOM'S
BIG ENOUGH FOR YOU
WHERE YOU ARE AS YOU ARE"

THE KINGDOM © 2001, LOST AND FOUND http://speedwood.com

About this Blog

Short Version

Jeremiah 20:9

But if I say, "I will not mention him
or speak any more in his name,"
his word is in my heart like a fire,
a fire shut up in my bones.
I am weary of holding it in;
indeed, I cannot.

Ahoy, me Hearties!

I once taught History and Art in a Lutheran school and for years struggled with whether or not to become a pastor. I served as a church youth group counselor for a while and continue to teach a high school Bible study group. Now I teach Art in a public school and needed an outlet for talking about faith, so I started this prayer blog.

But God forgive me, this blog has been contaminated because as Thomas Jefferson once said, "I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just." I feel like Christianity has been Shanghaied by people who say they love Jesus, but act more like disciples of Machiavelli.

So, like Luther posted his 95 Theses on the church door in order to incite critical thinking and provoke discussion and debate about the hypocrisies of the church in his time- I started posting things here that may challenge Christians to question their motivations and positions on things in our society and politics.

I don't mean to undermine anyone's faith or to promote heresy, but when I read Jesus' Words, especially in Matthew 5 and Luke 6, I see something radically different than what televangelists, radio prophets and Republican politicians espousing. Scurvy, bilge-sucking, sons of biscuit-eaters!

This all makes me feel like a mutant, a freak, and an outcast. Conservative Christians fear for my eternal salvation whereas secular liberals see me as part of the problem and not the solution. So in the so-called "culture wars" I'm caught in the cross-fire because I think that both sides are wrong and neither side wants to hear it. Sometimes it feels like I'm constantly getting Keelhauled.

Jesus is our prophet, our priest and our king- and calls us to be the same , representing God to the world, interceding for others to Him, and leading by example. But when you're a bit of a rouge, you've got little choice but to weigh anchor and hoist the mizzen without the benefit of letters of Marque as a corsair, don't ya?!

I try to be salt and light, but I understand that some of ye landlubbers may not have a taste for the brine- so click on the View only High School Bible Study link and avoid all my caustic commentary on politics.

Me ka pule,
Ted

About this blog

Changes in latitude- I used to teach at a Los Angeles Lutheran Jr.Sr High School in Sylmar, CA. I loved it. It was not just a job, it was a calling. Forging relationships, fostering discipleship, praying with and for young people was an unforgettable experience. Helping kids get into God's Word and into a deeper, more meaningful relationship with Him was what life was all about.Yet, when my wife and I had our first child, we decided to move back to Iowa so we could raise our kids around grandparents and cousins. We also thought that grass was nice for kids, not just apartment complex parking lots.

Burn Baby Burn- When I started teaching at a public school, I missed being able to openly minister to kids. I guess God's Word is so much a part of who He made me, that like Jeremiah 20:9, it burns in me, right down to my bones. So I started "malloryprayer.blogspot.com" as a sort of personal journal for recording prayers and devotions.

Avast! There be rough water ahead- Since 9/11/01 I have watched our country and it's policies get more and more radicalized toward the far right. I for one fell that it seemed like one faction of Christians were being politicized for a pro-business, pro-war, pro single-party agenda that was eroding, ignoring or destroying our Constitutional.

Jesus said "Love your neighbor," it was the code of Hammurabi that said "eye for an eye. On the one hand, Fundamentalist Christians are right to believe that Jesus' work on the cross is for our eternal life, but at the same time, I believe that Jesus is about love, forgiveness, healing and helping in the here-and-now as well. American Christianity seemed to become more and more judgmental, exclusionary and hypocritical.

So I started addressing my frustrations on this blog. I dropped the bland, banal, safe facade and put on the persona of a pirate rogue. I'd rather be scalding hot or frigid cold than luke-warm.

All that High School BS- After years as a Youth Group Counselor at my church, I stepped down because I needed to devote more time to my own kids. But not long ago, the woman who had taught Bible Study for the high school aged youth retired and I was asked to fill in. Since then, I started using this website as a repository for the lessons I teach Sunday mornings and the insights kids teach me.

Parental Advisory- Being a Missouri-Synod Lutheran, I appreciate that parents and pastors may not agree with or appreciate some of the opinions that I post here, so I have a link so that students can view only the High School Bible Study entries without being exposed to my politically liberal (though usually still theologically conservative) sentiments. Although, I once had a former student share with me that they were so disillusioned by the fanatically conservative Christians that they encountered that they may have lost their faith if I hadn't let them know that those weren't the only voices out there.

Which brings me to the disclaimers:

• This site is not an official site of St. John Lutheran Church in Charter Oak, the Lutheran Church Missouri Synod, or the Iowa District-West. The views expressed here and the links provided here are the sole responsibility of me.

As John F. Kennedy once said, "I don't speak for my church, and my church doesn't speak for me." But believe me, I realize and readily admit that I am as or more prone to be wrong about things as I sometimes feel that they are. Use the Bible, ask the Holy Spirit to direct you, seek forgiveness if you screw up... but don't be afraid to speak up. Call it the Apostle Peter style of plowing ahead like a stubborn bull, but doing it for Christ's sake.

• This is not an official Boyer Valley Community Schools website. The views expressed here and the links provided here are not necessarily those of the school, it's administrators or board. This site is the sole responsibility of me.

Unlike many evangelical Christians, I am of the opinion that a separation of church and state is not a bad thing. If anything, it protects the church from government intrusion and protects each denomination or church body from other church bodies. Sure the Pilgrims came here to escape religious persecution, but they were being "persecuted" by King James (of the King James Bible). And as soon as they set up their colony, they proceded to persecute enverone who's beliefs didn't align exactly with theirs.

Separation of church and state does not mean that students are denied their First Amendment rights to practice their religion at school or to freely speak about religion. It means that as a paid employee of a public school district and essentially an agent of the State of Iowa, it would be wrong for me to use my position as a teacher to take advantage of my classes (as a captive audience) to try prostelitize or otherwise indoctrinate them. In other words, if you're either already a Christian or interested in knowing Jesus and you approach me outside of class time, I will be more than happy to answer any question you have, listen to you, mentor you or pray for you- but I never want to force my beliefs on you. I don't believe that Jesus does, so why should His followers?

On a Mission from God- I'm not sure why God decided to have me be a high school teacher let alone a cheerleading coach. I always wanted to be an editorial cartoonist. I guess He did let me do that, just in a smaller way than I hoped. But I do know that His Word burns in my bones. I know that if there's anything in life that I want to do more than making fun of stupid politicians with funny drawings, it's helping kids know Jesus, know Jesus better, and gettin His Word from their heads to their hearts. That's why this website is here. Hope you find something somewhere that you can relate to.

The Gospel According to the dread pirate Roberts

For a long time now, I’ve been trying to come up with an image that I feel represents one of the most meaningful Scriptures to me, Jeremiah 20:9. I’ve always liked the version of the “Sacred Heart” used by the House of Blues. Christ’s heart afire surrounded by His crown of thorns, or in more contemporary versions, barbed wire. But I could never manage to draw one that I liked. Just as well, I guess. Not being Catholic, I’ve never been properly instructed in all of the symbolism of the image anyway.

This idea came to me while learning about pirates. I think it’s pretty cool since so many of the disciples were professional fisherman. Jesus walked on the water and calmed the storm, right? So since I enjoy Jimmy Buffett music and the motto of my newspaper column is “sex, politics, and religion- not necessarily in that order…” Why not my own pirate flag?

I had a friend complain to me about how many different blogs I have. One for my column, one for the cheerleading squads I coach, one just about Art… I had three different blogs that deal with religion. One focused on prayer, one was for my church youth group and another for my church’s 125^th anniversary. So I thought I should pair down. The 125^th is now last year and this is my last year as Youth Counselor (at least for a while, maybe when my kids are in high school I’ll try it again). My column never does actually cover sex, and it’s a humor column as often as it is a Spiritual one, but I did want to be able to talk about more than teen faith issues and more than just prayer on a blog about my faith. I want to be able to “be real.” To talk about my personal struggles of faith and irritations with the hypocrisies and heresies of the established “rulers and teachers of the law.”

Christian sarcasm and cynicism? Is there room for that? Oh please. You think that Jesus didn’t have His tongue in His cheek when he said that bit about it being harder for a rich man to enter the Kingdom than for a camel to fit through the eye of a needle? You don’t think there was at least a tinge of irony in His voice when he told people to pluck their eyes out and enter the Kingdom blind, rather than use their eyes to lust?

We may not get the cultural references anymore in the 21^st century, but Dente’s Divine Comedy and his Inferno weren’t just poetry, they were political satire and religious criticism. In much of his writings, Martin Luther displays a rapier wit for cutting the meat clear to the bone in his critiques of the theological errors, pompous personalities, and political intrigues of the late renaissance.

So I may not always be right, but I think that God has room for fools- Court Jesters that is, political cartoonists and columnists like me, who love Him and want to serve him, but who feel no compunction about drawing attention to the weeds growing among the chaff, even if our Lord and our brothers may have to rebuke me for getting over zealous. (trust me, I know there’s a big huge log in my own eye, I just can’t help pointing out those specks). I hope you will forgive me

too, and yet enjoy the humor and be challenged and provoked by the opinions.

So how did I come up with my cool Pirate flag?

The Templar knights, the crusaders who liberated Jerusalem with King Richard the Lion Hearted, would burry their brethren by laying their leg bones in the form of a cross by their skull. Once accused of heresy by jealous nobility in France, legend has it those who survived persecution fled and merged joined with knights on the island of Malta who eventually turned to piracy under the well known symbol of the Jolly Roger or skull and cross bones.

Black Bart Roberts, the real “dread pirate Roberts,” was a peculiar pirate and perhaps the most “successful,” though not as famous as Captains Cook, Morgan or Black Beard. Black Bart didn’t drink, though hid crew certainly did. He led Sunday worship services aboard his ship. Mind you, I know that the analogy breaks down, after all, Roberts was a blood thirsty murderer with an insatiable appetite for power, reputation and wealth. Not exactly Christ-like. Be that as it may, consider this, like Christ, Roberts was anti-establishment and egalitarian. Roberts was, after all, the product of the culmination of sinful, inhumane and self-indulgent policies of political and religious leaders. His pirate ship was more democratic than many “First World” countries are yet today. Consider the articles that his crewmembers swore on a Bible to uphold:

1. Every man shall have an equal vote in affairs of moment. He shall have an equal title to the fresh provisions or strong liquors at any time seized, and shall use them at pleasure unless a scarcity may make it necessary for the common good that a retrenchment may be voted.
2. Every man shall be called fairly in turn by the list on board of prizes, because over and above their proper share, they are allowed a shift of clothes. But if they defraud the company to the value of even one dollar in plate, jewels or money, they shall be marooned. If any man rob another he shall have his nose and ears slit, and be put ashore where he shall be sure to encounter hardships.
3. None shall game for money either with dice or cards.
4. The lights and candles should be put out at eight at night, and if any of the crew desire to drink after that hour they shall sit upon the open deck without lights.
5. Each man shall keep his piece, cutlass and pistols at all times clean and ready for action.
6. No boy or woman to be allowed amongst them. If any man shall be found seducing any of the latter sex and carrying her to sea in disguise he shall suffer death.
7. He that shall desert the ship or his quarters in time of battle shall be punished by death or marooning.
8. None shall strike another on board the ship, but every man's quarrel shall be ended on shore by sword or pistol in this manner. At the word of command from the quartermaster, each man being previously placed back to back, shall turn and fire immediately. If any man do not, the quartermaster shall knock the piece out of his hand. If both miss their aim they shall take to their cutlasses, and he that draweth first blood shall be declared the victor.
9. No man shall talk of breaking up their way of living till each has a share of 1,000. Every man who shall become a cripple or lose a limb in the service shall have 800 pieces of eight from the common stock and for lesser hurts proportionately.
10. The captain and the quartermaster shall each receive two shares of a prize, the master gunner and boatswain, one and one half shares, all other officers one and one quarter, and private gentlemen of fortune one share each.
11. The musicians shall have rest on the Sabbath Day only by right. On all other days by favor only.

As a work of graphic design I am very proud of it, even though it is incredibly simple. That may be part of its power, that it is so simple and iconic. The cross bones from pirate flags that have literally been around for hundreds of years, if not more than a thousand. The flames are nearly as iconic since it’s from an international hazard placard. I kind of think it would make a great t-shirt, album cover to guerilla art. If I had the guts to get a tattoo, I think it would make and awesome one of those too. Instead of the “Jolly Roger,” I call it the “Jerry Rigor.” Jerry is a derivative of Jeremiah, the flag’s Bible Verse.

The design and look of this website will soon be changing to. For now I’ve changed the green to black, just so readers notice the attention, but frankly I think it’s a little heavy, I’m not a heavy metal head after all. So keep an eye on it and let me know what you think. Black may be best for Lent anyway, maybe I’ll hold off on a major make over until Easter. Well, I’ve rambled on about nothing too important for long enough. Come back for theological discussions, devotions, prayers and motivational quotes.

In Jesus’ service,

Pirate Ted