Ideas for Lent; Fogive God

"You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes you just might find
You just might find
You get what you need"

~from the Rolling Stones' 1969 album 'Let It Bleed.'
Written by Mick Jagger and Keith Richards

 

Forgive God?! What kind of BLASPHEMY is this?! And what's with the Rolling Stones lyric? What are you THINKING? How can this possibly be Christian. Have you gone off the deep end?

Hear me out. I recognize that God is perfect, He doesn't sin. Jesus is the only human who never sinned. Obviously, therefore, He does not need to be forgiven for anything.

I know this, God knows it. But remember what Paul says in Philippians 2:6-7, "(Jesus) being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing..." The very creator of the universe took on the nature of a servant. That doesn't mean He sinned, I'm not saying that. But have you ever wondered why He had to be baptized? Surely not to receive forgiveness of His sins, not to secure His salvation. Jesus did that to obey the Father and to set an example for us.

So what does that have to do with us forgiving Him? Well, it's a different kind of forgiveness. Obviously there's no way we can ever offer God absolution or justification for anything He thinks, says or does. It goes without saying that we are always the ones who need that kind of forgiveness from Him.

But God does allow us to wrestle with Him, to be angry with Him and disagree with Him. Sure, we're the one's in the wrong when we do, but there's still give and take. He wants to have a genuine relationship with us.

So when and why would you ever need to forgive God? And what for? When you feel like He's hurt you or not answered your prayers the way you thought would've been best.

Jonah knew something about this. He didn't want to preach that the people of Nineveh needed to repent, but when he tried to run away from God, God sent the whale. Yes, He gives a free will, but He also knows our destinies.

George Bailey in the Christmas movie, "It's a Wonderful Life," wanted a life of adventure and accomplishment. He thought that he was a failure because he never left Bedford Falls and it looked like he was headed for jail because his Savings and Loan was about to fail an audit. But Clarence the angel knew that over and over again in his humble life, God had used him to help others in countless ways, the impact of which there was no way of measuring.

As part of my own midlife crisis, I've been frustrated that God didn't make me a world famous (and rich) professional writer and/or cartoonist. Do you ever whine that you're "just a ___________?" I did. But if I'm honest, and a little more appreciative, I can't believe how much I've been blessed. My wife, my kids, so many friends and loved ones- many of whom are former students and cheerleaders. The experiences, the opportunities, a great job... If I really sat down and tired to count my blessings, I couldn't do it- they're innumerable.

So first I said, "God, I forgive you for not always giving me my way, like some kind of temper-tantrum throwing toddler. I know You didn't mean to hurt me, in hindsight, I realize that You really DO know what's best for me, and I'll never be able to thank You enough for all You've given me."

Then, of course, I had to seek His forgiveness for being so selfish and short-sighted, let alone being such an ungrateful ingrate.

Okay, maybe a more orthodox way of saying it would be to surrender our will to His, to recognize His sovereignty, His wisdom, his Love and benevolence for us, and His omniscience. But whatever you call it, everyone needs to let go of their demands and open themselves to the grace and abundance with which God has already showered them.

If you do, you can start enjoying and appreciating what He prepared just for you, uniquely and especially. You can finally begin to live with an attitude of gratitude. "Go ahead and "forgive" Him, and then start THANKING Him for knowing what's best, and wanting it for you.

"It's not having what you want. It's wanting what you've got"

~from Sheryl Crow's "Soak up the Sun," from her 2002 album, C'mon C'mon.  

"Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers
Remember when you're talkin' to the man upstairs
That just because he doesn't answer doesn't mean he don't care
Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers"

 ~Garth Brooks, on his 1990 album, 'No Fences.'

Ideas for Lent; Repeat this 490 times

It used to be that one way that teachers would discipline students was to make them write "standards." Standards were where kids would write something one hundred times either on the chalk board or in their notebooks. "I will not talk without permission in class, I will not talk without permission in class, I will not talk without permission in class,etc. etc."

Today's teachers tend not to use this approach, not so much because it's cruel or unusual, but because they want their students to enjoy writing, so they'd rather not have the kids associate it with punishment. But believe it or not, this old fashioned penalty could give us an idea for new-fangled  prayer and meditation. Follow me...

Someone once said that forgiveness is like an onion, you have to peel away the layers and it often causes tears. Before you compare forgiveness to Shreck, hear me out. It's one thing to verbally offer forgiveness or offer release from any further responsibility for however they wronged you, but you may be left with plenty of residual hurt and harm. Emotional pain freezes us sometimes, we are scarred and like a physical scar, you may heal but part of you is hardened. You may have forgiven the person who sinned against you enough for them, but you probably still have to revisit the hurt and continue to forgive them for your own sake, over and over, sometimes for years.

In William Paul Young's book, 'The Shack,'  a father grieving for his kidnapped and murdered daughter comes to a point when for his own healing and spiritual growth, he has to forgive his daughter's killer. He dosen't just say it once. He has to constantly remind himself that he forgives this heinous criminal. He repeates over and over again- "I forgive you, I forgive you, I forgive you."

This sounds like having a nervous breakdown, repeating a frantic wish over and over while rocking in a fetal position in a corner or something, but actually repetition has a great deal of emotional, psychological, and educational merit.

'Power of Positive Thinking' author Norman Vincent Peale counseled people to repeat Philippians 4:13, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me," at least ten times a day in order to build both self-confidence and faith and trust in God.

There are new age and success gurus who tell you that if you write a goal at least a hundred times, maybe even write it a hundred times a day for twenty days- you will make it happen. Somehow, they believe, you alter the very fabric of the universe, or draw positive energy toward yourself. Others explain this away by saying that essentially you convince yourself that whatever goal will come to fruition and therefore, subconsciously or however, you work to accomplish that goal.

Whether it's some kind of metaphysical trick, or just cognitive therapy, there's something about repetition that helps get things done. Athletes can't train their bodies by working out just one time. They repeat sets or repetitions of particular exercises as part of a workout and they come back and workout again and again every day or at least every other day for weeks, months or years. Why should spiritual discipline be any different?

People drink 8 glasses of water a day to try to flush their system of impurities. If you've been smoking or drinking, or eating junk food for years, you can't expect to detox your system with just one day of drinking more water than usual, right? It may take weeks of green tea and water- not to mention abstaining from the fat, sugar, yeast, alcohol, tobacco or whatever poison to fully remove the impurities.

Jesus taught His disciples about the "office of the keys" in Matthew 18. He empowered us to free people from the shackles and manacles of sin and anger and grief, or jealousy and resentment and offense. But He also makes clear that it isn't going to be easy. It isn't just a quick fix of snapping your fingers and saying some magic words. Peter asked Him how many times do you have to keep forgiving people who mistreat you? And Jesus answered him with what seems like hyperbole, emphasizing the point that it should be constant and continuous, not just a one-shot deal:

¹⁸"Truly I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall have been bound in heaven; and whatever you loose on earth shall have been loosed in heaven.
 ¹⁹"Again I say to you, that if two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by My Father who is in heaven.
 ²⁰"For where two or three have gathered together in My name, I am there in their midst."
 ²¹Then Peter came and said to Him, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times?"  ²²Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven. ~Matthew 18:18-22

Jesus, expert in the Torah that He is, was may have been referring to Genesis 4:24, where an angry grandson of Cain, named Lamech, warned his wives that anyone who tried to hurt him would be cursed- "If Cain shall be avenged sevenfold, Truly Lamech seventy and sevenfold."

So now that I've prefaced this to death, let me get to the practical, life-applicable idea. Whether you do this silently in your head, verbally like a Zen Buddahists focuses on a word or sound to help them meditate, or whether you sit down with a piece of paper and write it out, this is what you do-

Think of something that someone has done which hurt you, and say "I forgive you." They don't have to hear it, it's for you and between you and God. Be specific, "Joe, I forgive you for taking credit for my idea in the meeting."  "Dave, I forgive you for moving in on the girl I was interested in."  "Janice, I forgive you for laughing at me." But don't just say it once. Say it twenty-five times as part of your prayer or devotion time, and do that for three weeks. You will forgive them over 500 times. You may do it all Lent long, or just for a few days. 70x7=490 is not a magic number, the point is to keep working on it until you're able to finally release it and allow Got to take it away from you for good.

Maybe you've already forgiven the person in person. Maybe after practicing this exercise enough, you'll come to a point when you'll want to forgive them in person. Maybe it wouldn't be appropriate or tactful to actually say something to them. Maybe they have no idea that they did or said anything to hurt you. Maybe they'd never apologize or ask for forgiveness even if they did. That's not the point. The point is to keep pealing back layers of that onion until you are free of the hurt.

It's a great way to ask God to help you live a lifestyle of forgiveness, which is what I believe He wants for each of us. You'll be suprised by how theraputic it can be too. Of course sometimes, it will be humbling because God may just reveal to you that you're perspectives or priorities are a little skewed- that you've been obsesssing about some things that weren't as big as you imagined. You might even end up asking for God's forgiveness, or seeking it from others.

Unless you enjoy dragging all those rocks around everywhere...

John 8:6-11, 15-16

They were trying to trap him into saying something they could use against him, but Jesus stooped down and wrote in the dust with his finger. ⁷ They kept demanding an answer, so he stood up again and said, “All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!” ⁸ Then he stooped down again and wrote in the dust.

⁹ When the accusers heard this, they slipped away one by one, beginning with the oldest, until only Jesus was left in the middle of the crowd with the woman. ¹⁰ Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?”

¹¹ “No, Lord,” she said.

And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.”

...You judge me by human standards, but I do not judge anyone. ¹⁶ And if I did, my judgment would be correct in every respect because I am not alone. The Father who sent me is with me.

Luke 6:36-38

³⁶Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.

³⁷"Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.

---

I don't know- I figure God is God and I am not. It would be pretty arrogant for me to try to do His job for Him. Thank God, we don't have to carry the weight of either saving, fixing or judging the world. I'm not good at throwing rocks and I for one get tired carrying all those rocks around. I'd rather pave roads with them.

It seems to me that anger and indignation do more to erode the one who bears it than to bring about contrition or repentance in the ones it is aimed at. I may be in error, (God forgive me and correct me when I am), but if I am going to err, I would always rather err on the side of mercy and compassion than on the side of judgment, control, or retribution. Law and Gospel should always be in balance, but when the balance tips, I would rather it tip toward the Gospel than toward the Law.

Feel free to disagree with me, most people do.

The power of forgiveness

“Forgiveness made me free from hatred. I still have many scars on my body and severe pain most days but my heart is cleansed.”

"Napalm is very powerful but faith, forgiveness and love are much more powerful. We would not have war at all if everyone could learn how to live with true love, hope and forgiveness.

If that little girl in the picture can do it, ask yourself: Can you?"

Kim Phuc is best known as the girl in the famous photo of a Vietnam War napalm-bombing attack near Saigon. She now lives in Toronto with her husband and two children. Her organization, Kim Foundation International, aids children who are war victims.

Read what Kim believes about forgiveness at the 'This I Believe' website.

Mercy triumphs over judgment! (James 2:13)
Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you
(Matthew 5:44)
These do not make you weak, remember, Jesus is tough as nails.

Love our enemies

"We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies. " ~Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.

Dear Jesus,
Please create and nurture in me an attitude of gratitude
and a lifestyle of forgiveness.
In Your name I pray,
Amen

12 principles that ALL Christians would do well to practice

I’m a big one on lists. I’ll have a list of things I need to get done during the course of the week and then another list for things to do that particular day. Sometimes I’ll have one list for work and another for home.

There’s a list that most of us never learn that has helped millions of people recover who suffer from a debilitating disease that not only destroys their own lives, but sometimes irrevocably damages the quality of lives of the people around them.

The list is the twelve steps of Alcoholics Anonymous and the disease is addiction, whether to alcohol, drugs, or even things like gambling, pornography, shopping and over-eating.

I was blown away once at a Bible study by a man who revealed that he felt more spiritually connected to and more able to be open and honest with his AA brothers than with anyone at our church, even in small group Bible studies, men’s prayer breakfasts or Promise Keepers.

That got me thinking, so I researched the steps. While AA members identities are protected, I don’t believe that the 12 steps are any mystic secret like some kind of Masonic rite. What I do believe is no matter what your faith these steps could help us all.

I don’t care who you are, we all do and say things that hurt people. We all have things that damage our relationships with others and prevent us from having a healthier relationship with God. And, we all make choices that are against our own best interests out of fear, greed, or impatience.

Consider these steps and I think you’ll agree, our churches and civic organizations would be drastically different places- intimate communities; if they taught and encouraged their members to all follow these steps. Family members may be more genuine with each other, partners would allow themselves to be more vulnerable with each other. Businesses and governments would be more ethical and transparent if their members practiced these steps.

1. Admit we are powerless over our addiction and that our lives have become unmanageable. Usually we’re all too proud to admit that we aren’t totally in control.

2. Come to believe that only a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

3. Make a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand Him. C.S. Lewis believed that we’re all born with a “God-shaped hole” that only He can fill. Someone else once said, “if God is your co-pilot, you’re in the wrong seat.”

4. Make a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. Don’t you wish that some of those corporate CEOs at the oil companies and sub-prime mortgage lenders would do this? How about our politicians?

5. Admit to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6. Be ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

7. Ask Him to remove our shortcomings.

8. Make a list of all the people we’ve hurt and be willing to make amends to them.

9. Make direct amends to such people whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10. Continue to take personal inventory and when we are wrong, promptly admit it. It’s not a one time deal, it’s a continual, life-long process. “One day at a time” as people in recovery say. Martin Luther thought that people had to “die to sin,” and ask God to renew them every day.

11. Seek through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understand Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry it out. Now me, I’d rather pray only for my own comfort, or maybe to win the lottery without buying a ticket- but as I understand His will for us, it’s more about looking out for others than myself.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we try to share the message with others and practice these principles in all our affairs. Amen. How about we ALL try this, rather than just leaving it to the addicts?

Giving in to temptationshould make us want to barf

"-for a man is a slave to whatever has mastered him. If they have escaped the corruption of the world by knowing our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and are again entangled in it and overcome, they are worse off at the end than they were at the beginning. It would have been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than to have known it and then to turn their backs on the sacred command that was passed on to them. Of them the proverbs are true:
"A dog returns to its vomit,"and, "A sow that is
washed goes back to her wallowing in the mud."~2 Peter 17b-22

Dear Jesus,

Why is it that I do what I don't want to
And I don't do what I wish I would?
Why- even though You saved me, do I return to my old, selfish, short-sighted, sinful ways?

Please forgive me, please help me to genuinely repent.
Remind me that thanks to You and through you,
I am a man, not a dog.

I love you and want to serve you, and only you.
And as long as You're at it, please do something about my bad breath.

In Your name (and I meant no disrespect, just hoping to give you a laugh)

Amen

Remember friends- we're all like that dog sometimes. The best we can hope is that our Shepherd still wants us to be His sheep-dogs. And yes, He does have a sense of humor- just not all Christians do.

Me ka pule,

Ted

Bright Sadness

"Bright Sadness is the true message and gift of Lent: ... the sadness of my exile, of the waste I have made of my life; the brightness of God's presence and forgiveness, the joy of the recovered desire for God, the peace of the recovered home. Such is the climate of Lenten worship; such is its first and general impact on my soul."

- Father Alexander Schmemann
Orthodox Church in America