Old Lutheran - The Lutheran Party

Old Lutheran - The Lutheran Party: "The Lutheran Party
by Eric Iverson

Two weeks ago I was idly browsing the personals, when I saw an ad for a Lutheran Party. Now I don't normally respond to these things, but I couldn't help noticing that I not only happened to be Lutheran, but was also a great lover of parties. It seemed like the perfect match, and so I wrote the following letter:

Dear People,
I was heartened and a bit surprised to see your ad for the Lutheran Party, as I was not aware that such a party existed. I am currently a Democrat, but after this latest election I guess I'm willing to try just about anything. To show my devotion to your cause I have drafted the following:

A POLITICAL PLATFORM FOR THE LUTHERAN PARTY

In many ways a political platform for the Lutheran Party goes against our grain. What with our motto 'Anything worth changing is probably just as worth keeping the same' and all, a piece of paper with a bunch of big ideas on it just isn't the way we do things. In fact, under a Lutheran Administration, about the only thing that might change is that we might get to that fence out back that needs a coat or two of paint (that is if we can decide on a color). Nevertheless, here are a few things we as the Lutheran Party could maybe think about doing." READ MORE

Happy Valentine's Day

So I was reading the Song of Solomon because I wanted to send it in a love letter to my wife for Valentine's Day.

...bundle of myrrh is my well-beloved unto me; he shall lie all night betwixt my breasts...

...A garden inclosed is my sister, my spouse; a spring shut up, a fountain sealed....

...I said, I will go up to the palm tree, I will take hold of the boughs thereof: now also thy breasts shall be as clusters of the vine, and the smell of thy nose like apples;

And the roof of thy mouth like the best wine for my beloved, that goeth down sweetly, causing the lips of those that are asleep to speak.

You want to tell me that all that is is "beautiful metaphor for Christ and His bride, the Church?" Obviously whoever thought that up isn't married and/or has never had great sex. Sorry to make any young readers uncomfortable but this one-long-erotic-poem of a book of the Bible is proof that God loves us and that He created sex.

On the other hand... its also a good example of how sometimes we can't relate to the metaphors of the ancient contributors to Scripture. Consider this illustration from 'Wittenburg Door' magazine on what the lover would look like if one takes the Song of Songs literally:
Of course, just because it contains passages about what many up-tight Christians (cough Baptist- cough) consider deviant and perverted forms of foreplay, and just because its word-pictures seem a bit ridiculously out dated today, it is also a beautiful metaphor for Christ's love for us too. Really. No, really it is. I know its hard to tell when I'm beinf sarcastic or ironic and when I'm not, but it really is. Really. God's weird that way, He's very multi-faceted. Really.

After 40 Days program, man finds deep meaning in Dairy Queen job

LarkNews.com: "SAN JOSE — Jerry Thomas, 21, used to feel stuck at a 'crummy fast food job.' But after completing the 40 Days of Purpose program at Union Methodist Church, he is now energized about his less-than-enviable employment.
'Spiritual significance is all around me in every menial task I do,' he says. 'My perspective has completely changed.'
The down-on-its-luck Dairy Queen where he works is tucked behind a dry cleaner, and gives Thomas plenty of time to ponder his purpose. Formerly insignificant events in his life now seem freighted with meaning, he says. He analyzes customers' every comment and gesture, seeking spiritual insight into why they came into Dairy Queen that day. Sometimes he offers comments like, 'Can I help you with anything else? Anything at all?'"

Church picnic ruined when couple breaks Li'l Smokies pledge

LarkNews.com: "TACOMA — Two hundred people who had anticipated Living Grace Church's annual picnic were gravely disappointed when the couple who signed up to bring a crock pot full of Li'l Smokies bathed in barbecue sauce forgot the dish.
One by one, attendees at Gann Park scanned the rows of food.
'Where's the Smokies?' one man asked his wife. She whispered the circulating rumor that they had been forgotten. In anger, the man cracked his plate in half and threw it in the trash, then repaired to a nearby tree to smolder.
The Moore family, who had volunteered to bring the Li'l Smokies, sat with grim expressions. Nobody approached them, save one reporter.
'We blew it,' Doug Moore said. 'We signed up for it, and then forgot.'
A few feet away, people had left a spot on the table by the card that read, 'Moores: Li'l Smokies,' hoping that the picnic favorite might miraculously appear. Some stared at the spot in silence.
'We remembered the A&W root beer,' Sandy Moore said, trying to inject a note of grace."

Youth Group video gaming

LarkNews.com: "REDWOOD CITY, Calif. — At a recent board meeting, pastor Darrell Smith of Trinity Fellowship put a video game controller in each member's hands. Soon the 12 men were clobbering each other on an oversized TV screen as they played Altar Egos: Rumble in the Pew, the latest church staff craze.
'I haven't felt this good about church in years,' said one board member, smiling and sweating.
Video game maker Electronic Arts created Altar Egos to test the market for Christian video games. The game, which EA describes as 'Grand Theft Auto without the graphic violence and sex, and set in a church building,' is not yet available in stores but was sent to hundreds of churches across the U.S. where it has become an instant obsession."

The Gospel According to the dread pirate Roberts

For a long time now, I’ve been trying to come up with an image that I feel represents one of the most meaningful Scriptures to me, Jeremiah 20:9. I’ve always liked the version of the “Sacred Heart” used by the House of Blues. Christ’s heart afire surrounded by His crown of thorns, or in more contemporary versions, barbed wire. But I could never manage to draw one that I liked. Just as well, I guess. Not being Catholic, I’ve never been properly instructed in all of the symbolism of the image anyway.

This idea came to me while learning about pirates. I think it’s pretty cool since so many of the disciples were professional fisherman. Jesus walked on the water and calmed the storm, right? So since I enjoy Jimmy Buffett music and the motto of my newspaper column is “sex, politics, and religion- not necessarily in that order…” Why not my own pirate flag?

I had a friend complain to me about how many different blogs I have. One for my column, one for the cheerleading squads I coach, one just about Art… I had three different blogs that deal with religion. One focused on prayer, one was for my church youth group and another for my church’s 125^th anniversary. So I thought I should pair down. The 125^th is now last year and this is my last year as Youth Counselor (at least for a while, maybe when my kids are in high school I’ll try it again). My column never does actually cover sex, and it’s a humor column as often as it is a Spiritual one, but I did want to be able to talk about more than teen faith issues and more than just prayer on a blog about my faith. I want to be able to “be real.” To talk about my personal struggles of faith and irritations with the hypocrisies and heresies of the established “rulers and teachers of the law.”

Christian sarcasm and cynicism? Is there room for that? Oh please. You think that Jesus didn’t have His tongue in His cheek when he said that bit about it being harder for a rich man to enter the Kingdom than for a camel to fit through the eye of a needle? You don’t think there was at least a tinge of irony in His voice when he told people to pluck their eyes out and enter the Kingdom blind, rather than use their eyes to lust?

We may not get the cultural references anymore in the 21^st century, but Dente’s Divine Comedy and his Inferno weren’t just poetry, they were political satire and religious criticism. In much of his writings, Martin Luther displays a rapier wit for cutting the meat clear to the bone in his critiques of the theological errors, pompous personalities, and political intrigues of the late renaissance.

So I may not always be right, but I think that God has room for fools- Court Jesters that is, political cartoonists and columnists like me, who love Him and want to serve him, but who feel no compunction about drawing attention to the weeds growing among the chaff, even if our Lord and our brothers may have to rebuke me for getting over zealous. (trust me, I know there’s a big huge log in my own eye, I just can’t help pointing out those specks). I hope you will forgive me

too, and yet enjoy the humor and be challenged and provoked by the opinions.

So how did I come up with my cool Pirate flag?

The Templar knights, the crusaders who liberated Jerusalem with King Richard the Lion Hearted, would burry their brethren by laying their leg bones in the form of a cross by their skull. Once accused of heresy by jealous nobility in France, legend has it those who survived persecution fled and merged joined with knights on the island of Malta who eventually turned to piracy under the well known symbol of the Jolly Roger or skull and cross bones.

Black Bart Roberts, the real “dread pirate Roberts,” was a peculiar pirate and perhaps the most “successful,” though not as famous as Captains Cook, Morgan or Black Beard. Black Bart didn’t drink, though hid crew certainly did. He led Sunday worship services aboard his ship. Mind you, I know that the analogy breaks down, after all, Roberts was a blood thirsty murderer with an insatiable appetite for power, reputation and wealth. Not exactly Christ-like. Be that as it may, consider this, like Christ, Roberts was anti-establishment and egalitarian. Roberts was, after all, the product of the culmination of sinful, inhumane and self-indulgent policies of political and religious leaders. His pirate ship was more democratic than many “First World” countries are yet today. Consider the articles that his crewmembers swore on a Bible to uphold:

1. Every man shall have an equal vote in affairs of moment. He shall have an equal title to the fresh provisions or strong liquors at any time seized, and shall use them at pleasure unless a scarcity may make it necessary for the common good that a retrenchment may be voted.
2. Every man shall be called fairly in turn by the list on board of prizes, because over and above their proper share, they are allowed a shift of clothes. But if they defraud the company to the value of even one dollar in plate, jewels or money, they shall be marooned. If any man rob another he shall have his nose and ears slit, and be put ashore where he shall be sure to encounter hardships.
3. None shall game for money either with dice or cards.
4. The lights and candles should be put out at eight at night, and if any of the crew desire to drink after that hour they shall sit upon the open deck without lights.
5. Each man shall keep his piece, cutlass and pistols at all times clean and ready for action.
6. No boy or woman to be allowed amongst them. If any man shall be found seducing any of the latter sex and carrying her to sea in disguise he shall suffer death.
7. He that shall desert the ship or his quarters in time of battle shall be punished by death or marooning.
8. None shall strike another on board the ship, but every man's quarrel shall be ended on shore by sword or pistol in this manner. At the word of command from the quartermaster, each man being previously placed back to back, shall turn and fire immediately. If any man do not, the quartermaster shall knock the piece out of his hand. If both miss their aim they shall take to their cutlasses, and he that draweth first blood shall be declared the victor.
9. No man shall talk of breaking up their way of living till each has a share of 1,000. Every man who shall become a cripple or lose a limb in the service shall have 800 pieces of eight from the common stock and for lesser hurts proportionately.
10. The captain and the quartermaster shall each receive two shares of a prize, the master gunner and boatswain, one and one half shares, all other officers one and one quarter, and private gentlemen of fortune one share each.
11. The musicians shall have rest on the Sabbath Day only by right. On all other days by favor only.

As a work of graphic design I am very proud of it, even though it is incredibly simple. That may be part of its power, that it is so simple and iconic. The cross bones from pirate flags that have literally been around for hundreds of years, if not more than a thousand. The flames are nearly as iconic since it’s from an international hazard placard. I kind of think it would make a great t-shirt, album cover to guerilla art. If I had the guts to get a tattoo, I think it would make and awesome one of those too. Instead of the “Jolly Roger,” I call it the “Jerry Rigor.” Jerry is a derivative of Jeremiah, the flag’s Bible Verse.

The design and look of this website will soon be changing to. For now I’ve changed the green to black, just so readers notice the attention, but frankly I think it’s a little heavy, I’m not a heavy metal head after all. So keep an eye on it and let me know what you think. Black may be best for Lent anyway, maybe I’ll hold off on a major make over until Easter. Well, I’ve rambled on about nothing too important for long enough. Come back for theological discussions, devotions, prayers and motivational quotes.

In Jesus’ service,

Pirate Ted

Fwd: The Stronghold of Failure: Part 2

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Angela Gulartie, Shining Light Ministries
Date: Feb 12, 2007 7:03 AM
Subject: The Stronghold of Failure: Part 2
To:

Grace and peace to you this day!

After I shared the teaching on the Stronghold of Failure, God woke me
up in the middle of the night. I thought I was finished with this
teaching, but He obviously knew better! The way He treated this topic
as one of importance tells me that there are many in the Body of
Christ dealing with this issue. To those people (and I am including
myself in that group), I communicate this message from the Father's
heart:

"Rejoice, and take heed to instruction, for through it,
I will cause your shackles to be broken off of you."

There are 3 things He gave me to communicate in this follow-up
teaching on the Stronghold of Failure.

I. REJOICE

First, rejoice. Chuck Pierce has taught that worship is to be one of
our primary methods of warfare this year. I believe that to be truth.

Here is one of the ways I use worship in the context of battling the
stronghold of failure that we have been talking about.

I start with a quiet time where I go into the Spirit. That means I
set aside all my thoughts, cares and worries of the day, all the
"junk" that I carry around with me, and I just come down to .....me,
and Him.

I repent and confess any sin I have committed during the day so that I
am starting with a clean slate.

Then I go before Father God's Throne. If you don't know how to get
there and you are not practiced at it, ask Holy Spirit to take you
there. Keep practicing, it gets easier each time.

Once I am there, I start by thanking Him for the victory He has given
me over failure. (We walk by faith, not by sight, and I don't have to
see the victory in the flesh to believe that I can have it in the
Spirit first! I also don't wait until I get it to thank Him.)

Then, I begin to dance before His Throne. I dance the dance of
rejoicing that my enemy has been defeated.

I stay there as long as I need to and I dance with the joy of the
Father's love. When I "sense" (for the seers in the group) or "know"
(for the nabye prophets in the group) that it is done, I come back
from before His Throne, to here.

When we do this in the Spirit first, we are no longer trying to
accomplish the victory in the strength of our flesh. We have
accomplished it in Heaven first, in the realm of Spirit.

II. UNDERSTAND THE COMPONENTS

In the first teaching, I shared a personal example of overcoming one
of the lies that supports the stronghold of failure. It is helpful
for us to understand and identify the individual dynamics at work in
that example, for each of these dynamics or components is a necessary
part of achieving the breakthrough.

These components of breaking strongholds of failure are:

1. Desperation - our hearts and spirits must really want it
2. Recognition of our complete dependence on God
3. Recognition of the insufficiency of our flesh to accomplish it
4. Knowledge of the Word of truth that refutes the lie
5. Confession of sin which breaks the bondage
6. Conforming our mind to the Mind in Christ
7. Speaking the Word
8. Abandoning all belief in the lie of the enemy
9. Adopting the Word of truth deep into our spirit
10. Taking action taken in reliance on the Word, with faith
11. Thanksgiving and Praise after accomplishing the victory
12. Testimony of God's greatness as and when He leads us

So if you have an experience where you don't have complete
breakthrough battling the stronghold as it applies to a given
situation, do not give up. Look over the list and see if anything is
missing, then address that. We practice doing battle and we practice
going to war and eventually, if we don't give up, we will win. God
promises us victory, but He doesn't tell us we will get it first time
every time. He just says we will have the victory. Sometimes we
might lose a skirmish here and there, but we have to keep our eyes on
the big picture - winning the war!

III. PUT RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD FIRST

This is most important. Relationship with God comes first and
everything else comes after that.

The problem with providing a nice neat checklist like I did in #2
above, is that it focuses us on methodology. We can have all the
methodology in the world, but without relationship with God, we are
not going to achieve any success with our methodology.

It's as simple as that. God gives us instruction so we can prosper.
His Word tells us that His people perish for lack of knowledge. Well,
He doesn't want us to perish. He sent Jesus so that we might have
eternal life and have it more abundantly. So we need to be good
stewards of what He gives us - and apply the instruction. That
application starts with doing whatever it takes to achieve
good-quality relationship with Him.

That concludes this teaching, but I would like to pray for you now, if I may:

Father, I thank You for my brothers and sisters who are walking this
walk of becoming overcomers. Right now, I bind every hindering spirit
that would that would interfere with their action upon what You have
given them. I curse failure at its root. I ask that You, Father,
open a window of Heaven over each one, and allow them to ascend
through Your Spirit into Heaven, and come before Your Throne. I pray
that You will anoint their heads with oil, in the presence of their
enemies, and give them the victory over the lies of the enemy and the
stronghold of failure. I thank You, Father, for Your loving attention
to the needs of Your people. I give You all the praise, all the
honor, and unto You, O God, be all the Glory!

Amen.

And now I'd like you to pray this prayer:

Father, I receive Your word. I thank You that you break me free from
fear and inertia. I thank You that You bring me through Your Spirit,
before Your Throne. I thank You that Your Spirit teaches me to
rejoice with dance before You. And I thank You for the victory over my
enemies. Amen.

Avahst mateys!

I'm hoisting a new flag ye land lubbers! I shouldn't take more that the Good Book for ye to figure out what she stands for, but the repercussions for my presence on the web may take a while to sink in. I'll just say that there'll be no more Mr. Nice Guy. Argh

HANDY LITTLE CHART

HANDY LITTLE CHART -
God has a positive answer:

YOU SAY	GOD SAYS	BIBLE VERSES
You say: "It's impossible"	God says: All things are possible	(Luke 18:27)
You say: "I'm too tired"	God says: I will give you rest	(Matthew 11:28-30)
You say: "Nobody really loves me"	God says: I love you	(John 3:1 6 & John 3:34 )
You say: "I can't go on"	God says: My grace is sufficient	(II Corinthians 12:9 & Psalm 91:15)
You say: "I can't figure things out"	God says: I will direct your steps	(Proverbs 3:5- 6)
You say: "I can't do it"	God says: You can do all things	(Philippians 4:13)
You say: "I'm not able"	God says: I am able	(II Corinthians 9:8)
You say: "It's not worth it"	God says: It will be worth it	(Roman 8:28 )
You say: "I can't forgive myself"	God says: I Forgive you	(I John 1:9 & Romans 8:1)
You say: "I can't manage"	God says: I will supply all your needs	(Philippians 4:19)
You say: "I'm afraid"	God says: I have not given you a spirit of fear	(II Timothy 1:7)
You say: "I'm always worried and frustrated"	God says: Cast all your cares on ME	(I Peter 5:7)
You say: "I'm not smart enough"	God says: I give you wisdom	(I Corinthians 1:30)
You say: "I feel all alone"	God says: I will never leave you or forsake you	(Hebrews 13:5)

Servant Leaders

Please pray for Allan and Sandy Schmidt as they help organize support for The Asia Lutheran Education Association (ALEA), help plan the association meetings, recruit teachers for schools in Asia, develop teaching and training approaches to integrating the faith into the daily school context, and inspire people to become engaged in this significant Gospel sharing strategy. Allan previously served with LCMS World Mission as the school developer and first principal of the Shang Hai International School from 1997 to 2002. ALEA aims to expand the Ablaze! mission movement by bringing together all the Lutheran schools and their supporting partner churches in Asia. The goal is increasing the evangelism effectiveness of sharing the Gospel with the tens of thousands of students and their families and witnessing to their communities in their home countries. Further, through conferences and collegial cooperation, these Lutheran schools help each other to excel as educational institutions and mission outposts.

Love and passion, theologically speaking

Maybe I am feeling dry and stagnant in my own faith or troubled by discouragements and temptations- but I found these quotes on love and passion from Soren Kierkegaard (1813-1855) very convicting. How much do we Christians REALLY Love God? Will ALL our hearts and minds and strength? Especially we bland, complacent, Midwestern, American, middle calss, mainstream denomination Christians. How passionate are we about our faith? So here then, are some prayers and quotes from a great Dane:

"Our Loving Father,
help us remember that it is not where we breath,
but where we love,
that we live."

"It is a great question whether those whome God cannot make mad have ever really existence for God."

"Authentic religion has to do with passion. Sadly, there are thousands who take a little something out of religion, and then dispassionately 'have religion.'"

"Our God,
we are aware that life upon this planet comes to an end for each of us. No one knows the exact hour or day. Moment by moment we come closer to the last breath. May we make each day count as though it were our last. If we have wasted days and weeks, forgive us. Let us have a sense of tremendous urgency to live today with Christian richness so that we can make up for squandered time. We remember him who in thirty precious years lived as though he was abiding eternally in time. In His name we pray."

The Dance

"I would believe only in a god who could dance. And when I saw my devil I found him serious, thorough, profound, and solemn: it was the spirit of gravity-through him all things fall."

— Frederick Nietzsche

(Painting by Edvard Munch)

A lot of people think that Nietzsche was an atheist. Evangelical Christians are taught to despise him because he is the philosopher who said "God is dead," but a better translation may have been "God is dead and YOU killed Him!" He was not so much an enemy of the faith as he was an enemy of hypocritical hierarchiesfrightenedgladness and even abandon rather than be paralyzed by moralism and legalism. I don't know what was in Nietzsche's heart or what his relationship with God was or where his soul is now, but I am confident that his disgust and resentment was not with Christ, but with Christians, not with God, but with His church, because in this time of "Christian Conservatives" and the "Religious Right," I often feel a similar disappointment and disillusionment. and institutions. Re-read his quote, and then read the passage below from 2 Samuel in the Old Testament. One of the many problems that I find with the "established religious order" is their lack of joy and wonder. We dare not ever be irreverent. That's the same fear that congregants had when they came to Martin Luther, that they would make a mistake and sin and he told them to "Sin Boldly." What he meant was to serve and worship the Lord with

9 David was afraid of the LORD that day and said, "How can the ark of the LORD ever come to me?" 10 He was not willing to take the ark of the LORD to be with him in the City of David. Instead, he took it aside to the house of Obed-Edom the Gittite. 11 The ark of the LORD remained in the house of Obed-Edom the Gittite for three months, and the LORD blessed him and his entire household.

12 Now King David was told, "The LORD has blessed the household of Obed-Edom and everything he has, because of the ark of God." So David went down and brought up the ark of God from the house of Obed-Edom to the City of David with rejoicing. 13 When those who were carrying the ark of the LORD had taken six steps, he sacrificed a bull and a fattened calf. 14 David, wearing a linen ephod, danced before the LORD with all his might, 15 while he and the entire house of Israel brought up the ark of the LORD with shouts and the sound of trumpets.

16 As the ark of the LORD was entering the City of David, Michal daughter of Saul watched from a window. And when she saw King David leaping and dancing before the LORD, she despised him in her heart.

17 They brought the ark of the LORD and set it in its place inside the tent that David had pitched for it, and David sacrificed burnt offerings and fellowship offerings ^[f] before the LORD. 18 After he had finished sacrificing the burnt offerings and fellowship offerings, he blessed the people in the name of the LORD Almighty. 19 Then he gave a loaf of bread, a cake of dates and a cake of raisins to each person in the whole crowd of Israelites, both men and women. And all the people went to their homes.

20 When David returned home to bless his household, Michal daughter of Saul came out to meet him and said, "How the king of Israel has distinguished himself today, disrobing in the sight of the slave girls of his servants as any vulgar fellow would!"

21 David said to Michal, "It was before the LORD, who chose me rather than your father or anyone from his house when he appointed me ruler over the LORD's people Israel—I will celebrate before the LORD. 22 I will become even more undignified than this, and I will be humiliated in my own eyes. But by these slave girls you spoke of, I will be held in honor."

23 And Michal daughter of Saul had no children to the day of her death. (2 Samuel 6)

Dear God,

Teach us to love you as much as David and to find as much joy in You as he did.
Teach us to let go of our power struggles and even our dignity, so that rather than be embarasssed or iritated like Michal, we're willing to worship you with reckless abandon and passionate rapture like David did.

We love you Jesus,
Amen