Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Another one from December 2004

Actual Bible Verse:
He (God) upholds the cause of the oppressed and gives food to the hungry.
The LORD sets prisoners free,
the LORD gives sight to the blind,
the LORD lifts up those who are bowed down,
the LORD loves the righteous.
The LORD watches over the alien and sustains the fatherless and the widow,
but He frustrates the ways of the wicked.

~Psalm 146:7-9
Republican Approved Version:
He upholds the cause of the corporations and gives tax cuts and tax incentives to people with the means of production, in order to stimulate the economy.
The LORD uses the Patriot Act to justify holding prisoners indefinitely without indictment.
the LORD repeats suggestions often enough until people are blind to the facts, (say "Saddam Hussein" and "9/11" together in the same sentence whenever you can).
the LORD lifts up those who are successful, and if you work hard enough and "pull yourself up by your own bootstraps," maybe you could be more successful too.
the LORD hates "slimy liberals," fags, lesbos, Jews, and "people-of-color," especially "Rag-Heads.
The LORD watches over everyone with surveillance cameras and Internet tracking software and requires people to sign loyalty oaths before being permitted to enter his campaign rallies,
but He frustrates the ways of Ohio voters, especially in minority neighborhoods.

hoping to ruffle some feathers and provoke some cognitive dissonance. Sorry if I went too far and offended anyone. That's why it's just on my blog and not in my actual column.

You have to admit, the "Moral Values" expressed in Psalm 146 do sound a little more akin to the Democratic party than "Compassionate Conservatism."

"Better Dead than Red (as in state)"

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